I’ve lived all my life in the Boston area, suburbs of, lived 20 years in the house my dad grew up in in Allston, a neighborhood of Boston. I’m a black woman who spends a lot of time outside of where I live going to beaches, day trips, shopping etc etc. I went to private schools And college So I was used to being a real minority in all these scenarios.
I have many non black friends always just accept me for who I am and per the climate these days I always say are on ‘right side of things’. I’ve been very passionate about politics in the state of our society.
…. many of the communities I spend time and are very white, and wealthy I lived in one for a couple of years up until recently but I feel that Community was more accepting and actually does have its own black community. I really have no qualms about going to these places some of them are just beautiful and offer a lot of nature nice places to shop and eat. Sometimes they are stares and what’s worse people see me and my family getting out of my car and they lock theirs. Sometimes I say something aloud so they’ll hear and response to this.
I’ve seen people adjust their bags or make gestures toward someone there on the public transit system with to watch their bags or it has been said aloud right in front of me.
I’ve been profiled. Yes, this means being followed around the store with their food shopping or otherwise. I also say something allowed to make people feel as uncomfortable as they’re making me feel, like, Oh, I guess I have to watch my bag here.
One time I was going to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner with my family and it happens to be in a nice, wealthy suburb, in a high-end Mall there. I think my family had already gone into the restaurant and I was lagging behind I got out of my car and started to walk to the restaurant Should help people In middle age white carport got out of their white Lincoln SUV With a main license plate And made some very Obvious gestures about locking the car. I approached them and said ‘oh, is it dangerous here? Is there a lot of theft?’.. something along those lines. I know I really threw them off because the guy kind of shrugs I think saying something to the effect of he’s not from here he doesn’t know.
More recently within the last week actually I was shopping at a Marshalls where I’ve been shopping for decades. It used to be in kind of a low-level Mall that had absolutely nothing going on in it. It was always empty when I was there but now is a bustling fancier shopping and dining area. I thought about stopping there since I was stopping in the shopping area anyway I think to get a salad or an iced tea. I thought to myself do I want to go in there dressed as I am because I know I don’t look the best in my dog walking garb.. Just comfortable tanks and shorts Per the heat.
And I went anyway, I just really wanted some candles since we were out and we use them a lot in the house. I was also in the Cosmetic Health and Beauty AIDS area initially to see if they possibly have this pain cream I like. They did.
From the time I walked in there I felt like I was being watched. I tend to linger at shells and look at things over and over and pick up a lot of the products to look at their ingredients Etc I found what I wanted and moved on to the kitchen and household area for candles. A woman I had seen when I was in the Cosmetic area kept reappearing at the end of Isles and such and then another man who look like the typical Marshalls or TJ Maxx security ( I used to work a lot in retail including a TJ Maxx, I know what they look like).
By the time I go to the kitchen and help holds area I had started to shake and get upset and maybe lose a little concentration on my shopping I was very frustrated. I said aloud this is the most uncomfortable I’ve ever been shopping in a Marshalls but I’m not sure if they heard me and I’m almost thinking I didn’t see anybody else after that but I think I saw that woman in the orange outfit one more time.
I found someone to ask to see a manager and told him what was going on and he claimed nobody’s following me in maybe it was a customer blah blah blah. After I checked out and I really shouldn’t have been buying anything I almost left the stuff there I saw the manager again and he pretty much said the same thing because I was I told him I was very upset. I also tagged them on a Facebook post.
What brings me to write this today is I think it might have happened again in my local Star Market but I’ve always open shopping in for decades and I’m there at least once a week. I remember once when I went to do the self checkout the manager guy was standing over the wall watching me and maybe one of his workers. I actually told my friend who was a pharmacist there very close friend actually and he said and I think he said something to him because the guy’s been friendly ever since.
Today I have been wandering around there for a while doing my usual back and forth up and down because I forget things and I got to the end of an aisle and that guy and another guy who also look like a manager came to the end of the aisle looked at me and promptly walked away.
This just completes my bad mood for the day, or week. I’ve been feeling physically and mentally unwell anyway for things going on with family and the world and this just doesn’t help. There’s so much more racism and division than I’ve ever seen in my life and I read a lot about it on social media so I think this excasterbated these two recent experiences.
I’m going to make signs and pin them to me saying I’m not a threat to you and your belongings and to stop being so ignorant and I’m not stealing when going out from now on. DONT PROFILE ME or peopke like me . We are all so tired, so very tired. . I’m completely flustered and I’ve had it with closed minds. They don’t understand how offensive they are and when they do these things so blatantly right in front of you all they care about is that they think someone is a threat to them or their belongings. It makes me sick. Today, I’m not just nauseous from the Heat
susanbwrite 