Ive started several blogs in the past and none have come to fruition; they werent completed b/c I had too much to write, my thoughts were ( are) very disorganized, more recently the site I was using wasnt exactly being user friendly for me and my muchly-need-to-be-user-friendly-easy-as-pie-convenience-needed brain. I have opinions, I want to write. When I hear people nearly half my age say ‘Im a writer’, I think, what the Hell have I been going ( with myself)..answer.. NOT MUCH. Time to get this  shiznit started, and done.

          So, tommorow, I start a job, first job  I’ve had in almost exactly a year. It was March 17,2010 when I was laid off. Time gets away with itself, time flies when youre having fun, well, I was for awhile considering my layoff was right at the crux of  great weather, when Susan breaks out. So, Susan took time off, took the Summer ‘off’, and decided to have some fun. Not as much as she wouldve liked having, really being able to get away, but, she did  have her fun.  As I was saying- ( change of voice, I did) Time flies, where did the time go, time has gotten away with me, and boy, does it ever.

 I could say I slept alot of the year away, sleeping well into the afternoon, most days, after staying up most of the night and morning b/c I was out socializing, or just love getting in bed and watching tv til all hours, or just plain  horrible, insettling,  dementing insomnia.  Then Id get up and try to be productive, sending endless resumes to endless places, running errands, sometimes interviewing,going for temp jobs, trying to find part-time job, dealing with family issues, financial issues.  Sometimes I even did chores..

 So, as I said, now I have this job, starting tommorow.. eaarrrllyy in the morning. When was the last time I got up at that time on a regular basis. Itll be good to get back into a schedule, even if its only for a month, or so. Yes, its temporary but its something I wanted to do in the kind of place I wanted to work. And I can drive there and hopefully avoid rush hour traffic. If I cant, hair shall be pulled out strand-by-strand.  I can happily avoid the stress and strain of riding the T, delayed buses, trains, waiting in crappy weather, dealing with rude people, filth. Quel relief. Im so spoiled in having the availability of a car, I feel like I never ever need to use the T anytime soon, anyway. Thank God for small favors. And I aint even religious.

  Im wondering how tired Ill  be after an 8 hour day, 16 hours, by Friday. Wonder if ill be able to function, go out at weeknights, at all. Wonder if Im going to have to crash as soon as I get home from work. I used to have to do that because I had such bad insomnia and was vegetable-like when I got home.  Id been so jealous of people, friends who’d been working all day and all week and had a reason to be tired. Do  I, did I have a reason to be tired; I also sat in front of the computer all day, would job search for up to 4 hours, then screw around.. with Talk Shows in the tv in the background. Yeah, thos things are  tiring to listen  to. Really bad, cheesy, so overly-exploitative. Disgusting.  White noise. 

 When this assignment ends, then what. Will I go back to that same old crap of sleeping late, feeling like Im accomplishing nothing day-after day? Will I get another assignment right away? A permanent position?  Will I feel more financially sound?  Will warm Spring-to-Summer breezes be blowing, again, coaxing me to take more time off? ( Better not)! At least Id be able to open some windows instead of sitting all day ina chill living room, bones and muscles, and brain tightening and stiffening., knowing I need to get out and do errands before rush hour, excercise or some shape and form, make, oh so important phone calls, clean something that needs to be cleaned,wash and dry laundry, thaw meat for dinner.

  Wont have to worry about shoveling out tons and miles of snow, anymore, ( well, til next year) I complained about it, but boy, was that a great workout and I beleive I even lost some weight ( but that muscle in my lower left side is store sore from that- even after all the yoga, stretching, pain killers..). My kitties will go nuts without me for 8 hours a day. Well, at least one will.  That aint even guaranteed. Nor not getting anymore snow, its still March. I want flowers, inside and outside of my house. And money. And to be content. None of its guaranteed.